Thorburn Family

There are many facets of teaching children the Scriptures:  the transmitting of academic Bible knowledge, modeling & Bible application during daily life together, teaching them to pray and how to study the Word on their own, teaching them what being “devoted to the Word” means in the context of church-life, and probably many other things — all important.   Our job is SO big!   This post is certainly not about all those things :^), it is on one thing the Thorburn family has been doing, one method for systematizing Bible teaching for numerous children of different ages. Having an over-all plan to systematically teach the Bible also gives us a “jumping off place” for the daily-life, 1:1 teaching that comes along the way as well.  We currently call it “Bible Time,” and in our house it happens at 6 AM around the table during our “Bible/Breakfast” time slot.   If sharing the specifics of what we are doing helps someone else in forming their own plan, great.

I should clarify that we want to teach straight from the pure Bible and not so much out of Bible story books.   God has said His Word is sufficient and we want to make sure we don’t transmit any other message.   Without a plan, this mission can get really rough.  On top of the obstacles of battling our own laziness and character issues which can get in the way of consistency, the Bible is big, deep, sometimes filled with chapter after chapter of violence (read Judges lately?), chronologies, and the sheer number of people and true accounts of history can be tedious and overwhelming to navigate, especially with very small children.   We once spent about three years in Genesis, explaining and learning every little thing verse by verse.   Oh, it was rich and we had a ball!  Then a new child came along and we felt lost.. how do we re-teach to the younger child (and future children) all that we’d just taught, and still keep everyone else going forward?  And, if we kept teaching in that same manner, once we got to the book of Nehemiah (which in reality would take more years than we have to raise the children), would our children remember anything from the three years in Genesis?  We needed a system to cover it all from the Bible and make it stick, with an easy way to review, memorize, etc.  We also want our children to find all of Scripture familiar and have a time-line view in their heads of how different aspects interrelate, what came first, second, etc.   This gives a foundation for future learning and growth in the Scriptures.

Enter Veritas Press Bible cards.  We use them as our framework for teaching through the Bible, not exactly as VP recommends.   We study Scripture, not the cards — the cards are like our visual post-it notes through the Bible, to tell us what to study next, what to memorize, giving us a way to review, etc.   They are guideposts/a framework/markers.   Any plan that keeps you systematically teaching the pure Word to your family is worthy of consideration.  Veritas Press Bible cards cover a timeline of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.   In all, there are 160 cards, each covering a different Biblical event or person in chronological order.   Each 5X7 inch card front includes the name of the event, a good picture (often famous works of art of that event or person–perfect for memory association for the smaller children!), and the Biblical reference.    For instance, card #42 is:  The Ark Is Taken Into Captivity / I Samuel 4-6.   On the back of each card is the estimated date and a summary of the event. It also contains a little box with resources listed w/page numbers for finding more information. The Bible cards also come with optional worksheets for various age-levels to print out freely. These, and memory songs for all the card titles and references are available on CD ROM or in a book form w/song CD. The memory songs are perfect for little kiddos. Your three year old may not understand all that is taught during Bible Time, but they can be collecting a huge catalog of effortlessly-memorized information, as well as a sweet taste in their mouths for Bible Time, to draw upon a year or two later. 

Wouldn’t you love to be able to recall 160 events in biblical history and the place to find them in Scripture?  Think how useful it would be to have these things stored in your memory when processing history lessons, when hearing preaching on any subject, or when processing Biblical truth in any other context — you’d have chronological reference points of how God had worked in history in 160 people/events, and you’d know just where to go to find them!  On this framework we can easily recall the great works of our Creator and praise Him. 

So, at 6 AM, a typical scene in the Thorburn home is this: Jesse grabs the “Bible bin” as everyone sits down for breakfast. We pray together. Rich grabs the lesson plan binder, goes to today’s plan & pulls out the card we are working on. “Ok kids.. we are starting card #41, Samuel, The Last Judge Of Isreal, I Samuel 2-4.” Rich reads the summary on the back of the card, and then asks Jubilee to read I Samuel 2 aloud to us.  We all follow along. After she is done, we all discuss it.  The Bible reading and discussion, and memory of the event w/reference is the priority of Bible time.  Rich keeps things moving along. If I have listed a supplemental resource, he pulls it out of the Bible bin, turns there or asks one of us to do so. If it is a short children’s Bible commentary on the event, we read it, if it is a picture of the region, we look at it, and if it is a list of questions, he asks them. If there is a worksheet/activity for that day, he passes it out when we have about ten minutes left. Till Bible Time is finished, the older kids may be looking something up in Scripture and writing about it, and Benjamin might be drawing a picture, and often Rich and/or I are working with the younger children during that time. Some days we have “review days” scheduled, where we flip through the cards while the children shout out the event/person and its reference in Scripture, and where we will randomly pick a few cards and ask the children to tell us everything they know, or go over that event in detail again, or how this applies to their own lives. It is amazing how much they can retain!!!

The planning of a year of Bible training is not overwhelming. I take approximately one weekend a year, gather my Bible, the next 32 cards, and extra resources. I just go card by card (really, event by event/person), read all the Scripture, and write up what we will do day by day to cover the Scripture & instill each event.  Some cards take 2 days, some take up to 2 weeks, depending upon how much Scripture we need to cover w/ the event.  I make sure everything we need is printed, labeled, and in the Bible bin so we aren’t fumbling on a daily basis.   Whatever plan you choose to systematically teach Scripture to your children, this is a God-ordained, proper use of our time, creativity, money, effort, etc. — it is a primary duty for which we should try to become increasingly skilled and equipped!   

Every time a family rotates through the five sections of Bible history, the children absorb it with fresh, more mature, experienced eyes.  Meanwhile, they haven’t forgotten all about what they learned before because of the memorization piece. This system is great for parents who don’t have much of a background in Bible knowledge as well.   It has been the best we have used thus far, and we are more excited about it every year!  There are many good ways to go.   The point is, anyone who is a follower of Jesus Christ needs to be teaching their children the Scriptures.   This is more important and will yield more fruit than academic success, sports training, or any number of things that we might take the time & effort to plan and do.  “Where your treasure is, your heart will be also!”  God will bless our efforts as we seek Him and rely on Him, regardless of our weakness or the obstacles that seem to be in our paths.  He is faithful and loves to show His greatness, despite us.  Let’s press on together.  

There are people from different walks of life, religious beliefs, and lifestyles who read this blog (a mine-field! LOL).   Well, this is a heads-up that I am going to use our blog over the next week to write down some things that have helped us in teaching our children, because this subject is coming up over and over again in conversations lately.   Ours has been a very imperfect journey so far, we have made some big blunders, but it’s been filled with God’s grace and help.  Over the next week or so, I plan to just quickly run-down what we have done and are doing as far as training children in the Scriptures.  I’d love you to share your methods and resources as well so we can learn from each other.   

First, it seems important to state upon what premises we are operating, what our goals are (and aren’t).  Three things:

1) We are banking on the fact that the Bible is the infallible Word of God and that everything God wants us to know pertaining to living life and knowing God, as well as answers for eternity, can be found here.   Nothing we are pursuing is original.  We believe that being able to handle God’s Word well is one of the most important tools we can give our children, so this is a top priority in the list of our goals in parenting and education.    We don’t worship the Bible.   It is the way to know God’s character and His will for our lives, so we can worship Him.   

2) On Results:  We pray for & expect various types of results from training our children in the Scriptures. We are thankful that God has seen fit to use it mightily in our children’s lives thus far for their good.  However, we aren’t doing it primarily for results, and the results can’t be “results” for us, or they just become an idol.   Any results we see at any time are a work of God alone, perhaps using some of the means we are employing, but it is all by Him, through Him, and to Him.   We believe our bottom-line duty as parents is to bring God glory on this earth, and we perform that effort by God’s grace alone.   We would love to see each of our children walk with Jesus their entire life and live with Him forever.  If we spend 18 years proclaiming the glory of God to our children and appealing to them by every method to love and serve their Creator.. and in the end they reject the truth and go their own way, our efforts will not have been in vain (and we’ll deeply love them regardless!).   Proclaiming the glory and majesty of God and giving children every tool to know Him and their duty to Him is an end in itself.. God is glorified and He is worthy of this, and yes, many many times it is the means God uses to draw our children to Himself,  and we have great reason to hope for that.   So, we plead with our children, we appeal to them, train them, using every good means possible to commend the gospel to their hearts. We show them deep affection and transmit to them that this true love is what has come out of our own relationship with Jesus Christ.  We let them observe the way He is changing us by His grace.  We pray for the Spirit of God to light the fire and start a work in their own hearts.  And we do even these things imperfectly as we are growing along the way ourselves!  But at every turn from the start to the last… we want to find our satisfaction in Christ, not in our parenting journey or in the “fruit of our hands,” and bow the knee to the plans and will of God. We don’t know what the future holds for our children but we know He is sovereign, and good.   We can trust Him, period.  So, as we seek to apply Biblical principles and directions to the training of our children, it is not about being entirely pragmatic (though we want to carefully consider the best paths), but rather, simply seeking to do our duty as parents as we seek to live satisfied in Christ. 

3)  We believe it is very hard to train a child in the Scriptures and in anything good, really, unless you have first trained them to listen to your quiet, first-time word.   So, from babyhood, basic child-training is a priority.    When our children were small, we were blessed with great teachers in this area, and we have praised God many times for having those counselors and examples in front of us.   We watched people, watched families, asked questions, took truck-loads of advice from worthy, biblical advisors, and prayed a lot — and that journey is far from over for us.   We have held onto this verse as a compass:  Hebrews 13:7: “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God.  Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.”  So, we watch, consider, imitate.  A child who can sit contentedly, whose body can come to rest and relax during story time, and who will obey your quiet, sweet directions for them.. is a child who can be taught more lofty ideas at a young age, and a child with whom you can likely build a close relationship.  If you must grab a child’s attention with a dancing vegetable to teach them anything about God (sorry, Veggie Tales :)), or wrestle with them on every point, you will miss out on using some better resources with your children that require a more mature habit of conduct to absorb. Children are far more capable than modern society imagines, and we do them a disservice if we don’t train their habits & tastes early.   A note on this:  Three of our children are adopted:  Jubilee came at age 4.5, Jesse came at age 6.5, and Benjamin was 4.5    None of them (with the exception of Jesse for his first year out of the Russian orphanage where he lived with another Christian family) had any prior training.   All I can say is that they come along quickly.   God is gracious and He’s blessed every effort.  It is a great joy to hear Benjamin excitedly asking, nearly every day, “Is it Home Fellowship day?”  ”Is today the Lord’s Day?”… and hearing him recite the Books of the Bible in order and a few hymns, and working on memorizing the first chapter of James.   It’s been the same with all our children, even though there might be some special obstacles with children adopted as non-infants.   God has also given special grace for this and doesn’t leave us hanging with no answers.

So, if this subject interests you, stay tuned for a few posts about specific methods for training our children in the Bible, a couple resources we like & are using, and (if I can pull it off), relaying tidbits we’ve been taught about steering children into deep involvement w/their local church family & devotion to the preached Word.   And feel free to jump in!

Polite Moments is a little gem, well worth every penny of the $12 or less you’ll spend to obtain it.  This is a series of little booklets put into one precious book.   The five booklets were:  General Topics, Visiting Other Families, Working For Others, How To Be A Servant, and Learn To Do Things.  From small children to adults, anyone can benefit from reading these short and specific instructions.  

I have started carrying the book around with me for 2 minute refreshers while we are waiting for the next thing to happen, like lunch to be put on the table.   Most are a half-page in length.   Every instruction is loaded with Scripture references & specific application anyone could understand.  Each helps me remember that striving to be authentically polite & loving is not a matter of a checklist of do’s and don’ts, or stuffy formality, but rather knowing (and applying) what is fitting, considerate, appropriate, and how to fulfill the law of Christ in every relationship.  We really need it! . 

There are over 100 topics/lessons.  Here are  just a few:
Never Cause Fear To An Older Or Weaker Person
Ask–Don’t Inform
“I Keep Under My Body”
Learn Through Respectful Questioning 
Look At People When You Are Talking To Them
Always Use People’s Names
“Endure Hardness”
Daniel Purposed In His Heart

Oh.. so many more!   In the last section, “Learn To Do These Things,” they have a short blurb on each quality that one should learn to be able to accomplish all the previous ones, such as:  Learn To Control Your Thoughts, Learn To Listen, Learn To Sit Still, Learn To Deny Yourself, Learn To Be Content, Learn To Be Pleasant, and Learn To Fear The Lord, etc.  

Outstanding stuff, cute sketches, and you can tell these people live in the nitty gritty of daily life by the examples and application they give.   This book is “do-able” and not an undertaking.  Bite sized pieces but full of wisdom.  Polite Moments is available through Plain Path Publishers.   Enjoy!     

Since I can’t seem to load a cute video of Benjamin yet (maybe later today), I will take the opportunity to stick something in the “recommended” category. Managers Of Their Homes (MOTH) has really helped us so much, for about 10 years now.  After having evaluated, inspiration-ized, concocted, planned, and prioritized in many areas of life.. there has to be that last piece of actually fitting it all into a day, year, calendar.. everything from washing out the silverware drawer, to teaching & training children, to serving others, to building a marriage relationship and planning family fun.  

It would not happen in our house if we didn’t have our over-arching plan and the tool (MOTH) to actually accomplish it.  We still fall apart at times, life is still not perfect, and sometimes when you check my silverware drawer, you might find some crumbs. Mostly, we are kept from running in 50 directions at once (yes, there is a method to what looks like madness!), and we don’t get so overwhelmed as we used to, or buried by basics.  

I try to have a “machine,” a system for everything, especially b/c I tend to feel mega lousy in the winter, which also happens to be my most intense schedule b/c of schooling.  When the alarm goes off at 5 AM in the middle of February, I have to be able to get up and tackle the day with everything more or less “idiot-proofed” or I’d be in survival-mode by 9 AM, bogged down by basics (or, back in bed!).  

When we fail to work the plan or have unforeseen things happen which necessarily throw us off, it is shorter-lived, less-stressful, and less catastrophic than it would be if we didn’t have our systems and plan in place.  

I want to live intentionally, fruitfully, eternally-focused, and not waste my life!  I want to be learning how to do this better and better every year.    I would say that MOTH shines less in the area of the “inspiration-izing,” concocting, etc.. the big picture stuff.. but after you know where you want to “go,” the MOTH system is the train that can get you there so it actually happens.  

More recently, the authors of MOTH have come out with a new manual/system called Managers Of Their Chores.  We got it this year.  It’s great, too!  I particularly appreciate their online program called Choreware ($10/year to people who own the MOTC book).  

So, there are my little plugs.  I would love to know what tools are working for you all as well.   Go to www.titus2.com for the MOTH and MOTC systems if you are interested.  Also, they have some of their forms online now which is much neater, etc.  If you want info, let me know.

For many years I woke up to the grandmotherly voice of Elisabeth Elliot on her radio program, Gateway To Joy.  I devoured her newsletter, and obtained nearly every resource she recommended and every book she wrote.   I remember being shocked when Elisabeth and her daughter Valerie Shepherd, an outstanding mother of eight children (for whom our own Valerie is named), calmly suggested that babies and toddlers could be trained to sit happily during a church service, a wedding, or any event that required a chunk of quiet sitting.  While I was still choking on my coffee, digesting that idea, she added that for generations before us, this was a regular practice and an expected part of good child-training.  Hmm…ok, I’m listening..   

My dear mentor went on to explain how it was done.  While at that time we’d never seen such a thing in person, and doubted that any child from our gene pool could accomplish such a feat.. we decided to give it a go.  At that time, Valerie was 5 or 6 months, and Lydia was 2 1/2.  

In a very short time, Rich & I began to enjoy the freedom of having both parents be able to enjoy a church service or other event (no nursery needed!) the confidence that we could “go anywhere and do anything,” babies happily in tow. A bonus was that it prevented the less pleasant transition period where one decides to all of a sudden train a toddler to sit at age 2, 3, or 4, when it is actually much harder (been there/done that, too–a few times!).

Far more important than the immediate benefits and how it made our lives easier, we think this early training was a big part of forming their tastes.  They were and are engaged, from very early ages.  Because their focus wasn’t on white-knuckling self-control for sitting by age 2, 3, 4.. they could focus and grasp “bigger things” earlier.  

I am not remotely suggesting that this is a required exercise for all who want to be “good parents,” or that children of any age should be sitting with their parents at every event the family attends — we don’t think that.  You can take it or leave this baby sitting thing.  But, for those who want to check it out, I’ll post here an article that Elisabeth Elliot put in her newsletter long ago.  We’ve seen it successfully applied in scores of families over the years.  We also recently found some much better articles on this little subject, and some that also pertain more to training toddlers to sit contentedly.   Different ideas from different families but all helpful to add to the pot.  I’m not going to post them on the blog, but just drop me a line if you’d like a copy.  

A Baby Can Learn To Rest, by Esther Ann Morey

“One of the best things I ever did was start a quiet time with our son when he was about 5 months old (just starting to sit up). I would hold him on my lap and have a quiet time. I gently restricted his movement into a small range by holding his wrists loosely. He could move, but not a whole lot. There we would sit without any entertainment for about 5 minutes, if he was compliant. If he resisted and threw a fit, the five minutes would start after the fit was over. And a fit he did throw! For the first few days he was really mad! He would scream, and I would whisper, ‘Rest,’ and ‘I love you’ in his ear while he took his breath for the next scream. The first few days he would be in a rage for about 20 minutes–an eternity it seemed! After his crying changed from anger to repentance and his movements stopped fighting me, I would start the 5 minutes, whispering encouraging things in his ear from time to time, and then say cheerfully, ‘It’s over! Time to get down!’ After a week or two of doing this almost daily, his crying times got shorter and shorter and then disappeared altogether. His nervous system learned to come to rest. He actually began to ENJOY our quiet time together! I began slowly stretching our quiet time, adding 5 minutes to it each week until I was up to 20 minutes. After that, I could take him anywhere — to church, to gatherings, to presentations — and he would sit quietly and contentedly on my lap. People would comment how lucky I was to have a child that would sit still like that. They thought he was born that way! If they only knew…I believe this was a very beneficial part of our discipline in the first year. Before he knew the meaning of, ‘no,’ he was taught how to ’shut down’ and how to come to rest. It also taught him that what he wants to do sometimes has to be put on hold.” (printed in the Elisabeth Elliot newsletter in the 90’s)

Ever since my friend Tiffany told me about the Girl Talk blog www.girltalk.blogs.com, it’s been a quick, encouraging part of nearly every day! On the blog, the Mahaney ladies — CJ Mahaney’s wife and three grown daughters — share their lives and thoughts, and some great resources, too. Our three daughters and I also happen to be going through the book Girl Talk, written by Carolyn Mahaney (mom), and Nicole Whitacre (one of the grown daughters) for moms and teen daughters to do together.  Stupendous! Regardless of whether or not you have daughters to do the book with…. check out the BLOG for some GREAT stuff. If you are a girl of any age, Girl Talk is the blog for you! There’s a link to it in the right column of our blog. Be encouraged, be challenged, and have some fun!